Daily Meditation for January 6

Good Morning, it's Monday, January 6, 2014.  Following is today's Daily Meditation:

 

There are as many ways to live and grow as there are people.  Our own ways are the only ways that should matter to us.

 

-Evelyn Mandel

 

Wanting to control other people, to make them live as we'd have them live, makes the attainment of serenity impossible.  And serenity is the goal we are seeking in this recovery program, in this life. 

 

We are each powerless over others, which relieves us of a great burden.  Controlling our own behavior is a big enough job.  Learning to behave responsibly takes practice.  Most of us in this recovery program have behaved irresponsibly for much of our lives.  Emotional immaturity is slow to depart, but every responsible action we take gives us the courage for another-and then another.  Our own fulfillment is the by-product of the accumulation of our own responsible actions.  Others' actions need not concern us.

__________________________________________________

 

Today, I will weigh my behavior carefully.  Responsible behavior builds gladness of heart.



 

Step 1 cont'd

While using the amethyst Crystal one should be saying affirmations, such as:  "I am an asset" or "I am enough" ten times in a row.   This can be done while driving, first thing in the morning or whenever you choose.  This is also the time you need to change your thoughts, words and actions.  Changing my morning routine has helped me with my thought process.       I begin my day by thanking God and the Universe for all events in my life which have brought me  exact ly where I need to be.  We must begin to let go of the past and our resentments as well as self-loathing.  Once we forgive ourselves only then can we begin ANEW.

This is also tbe time to begin reading helpful books for a new way of life.  I highly recommend Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach.  Each time you read the book at different stages of recovery you will uncover something new could not see during the previous read.

I will update as new memories and tips come to mind.  Feel free to leave comments and snswer the question I added to the blog.   I hope this to be helpful.

Thank you!

Recovering

Recovery

Step 1 (cont'd) - During this phase, comes a time when you just need to STOP talking about the hurt, anger, pain, etc and TAKE ACTION, take action to remove the pain, hurt, anger, etc. from your being or yes, I'm going to say it, your SOUL.  Because that is where everything is stored and where it affects who we are, alters who we are and where it hurts!


Tools - There are several tools I use to help me through the process and I still continue to use as my way of life. 

• Crystals - An amethyst is recommended for the initial healing process.  I carried mine around for a very long time.  It lessened my anxiety and literally helped alleviate the hurt I felt deep within me in conjunction with the other tool, writing and burning, which I mention below.  The following link provides more information on amethysts and its healing properties at http://tinyurl.com/ls4zfb7. 

         **Special note:  Clean the crystal in a small bowl filled with water and salt.  Let it sit for 5 minutes.   Once a month place the crystal in your window under the full moon for cleansing and energy. 

You should carry it with you all the time and hold onto it in your hand whenever possible to alleviate stress, anxiety and to help bring calm during the healing phase for at least one month.

How it all began cont'd

~(Cont'd)This is how it all began ~
During the time when I left the relationship, we continued to try to work things out MAINLY for the child.  I had such a hard time KNOWING or trying to know that I(we - child and I) were much better off and healthier living away from the child's father and not in the same house.  This is where I was fooling myself into thinking I could remain the abused, controlled person who would have the respect of her child living with a man who did not even have a quarter of an ounce of respect for me. Yes, completely crazy thought process.  The truth of the matter is IT IS OKAY FOR CHILDREN TO COME FROM A DIVORCED FAMILY AND PARENTS WHO DO NOT LIVE TOGETHER WHEN IT IS AN EXTREMELY UNHEALTHY FAMILY DYNAMIC.  I am and can continue to be teh  mother I am because "the switch" in my brain clicked and I realized if i tried to continue to be someone I wasn't Iwould lose my life.  That is how bad it was for me.

Such shame is cast upon women who are in abusive relationships and who are divorced.  Who REALLY cares!  That's just it....society cares.  NEWSFLASH:  Take a look at our society.  What makes it so great.  How do people treat one another?  What is valued in our society?  We've lost our sense of valuing people and genuinely caring about them and for them.  I digress..back to the story.

 

 

I hated myself, truly hated me, my life, what I had done with it, how could I choose this, yet I did.  I felt the need to continue punishing myself.  The punishment was living under a different roof and trying to work it out with him.  He was my punishment and in my mind, I deserved it.  I even believed I deserved to die and I would have taken my own life...I knew I would if I didn't change SOMETHING.  The only time I was happy was my time without him and I knew it!  So now how do I overcome my FEAR and unlock my PRISON?????

How it all began

~This is how it all began~

After leaving the father of my child, my abuser, I still hurt and yearned for something better in my life.  I was already in school full-time for my bachelor's degree.   Prior to going to school full-time, I had lost everything...my career of 20+ years, my retirement and any sense of who I was.  I had nothing!  I lost it ALL.  I was living at home with my parents.  "What a LOSER!" is what my abuser told me.  I certainly felt like one living at home at 40 years old with our child. 

You see, I didn't really lose EVERYTHING.  I had my son, MY FAMILY, the family I was born into who loved me unconditionally and friends who supported me throughout the ensuring craziness during my life with him .  My dear friend directed me to a domestic violence website, http://www.drirene.com/ so I could reach out for help during my time with my abuser. 

More to follow...

Recovery
These steps are detailed from my own experience and healing process.  I offer them only as suggestions.

Step 1:  Talk and I mean TALK, ALOT.  Talk over and over and over until you are tired of talking about it.  Redundancy..talk over and over to a TRUSTED someone who has the capacity to listen and who cares. 

• This person should be a counselor, clergy or whomever is in a position to really want to help you and only LISTEN. They should not criticize you or your decision to stay or how you chose to lead your life. 
• No judgements WHATSOEVER.  This person should not judge you; they are there for you.  This is your THERAPY. 

A word of caution:  I would not recommend friends because they have a tendency to judge and they may harbor some anger toward the abuser and your circumstances; because they are YOUR FRIENDS. At least this is my experience.

**Questions and comments are welcome**

New Way (cont'd)

`Your personal thoughts, comments and suggestions are welcome on this blog. ~   Thank you!

One of the areas we seem to find very hard to deal with is what people say.  then we begin to form our own thoughts, ideas or rebuttal.  How about we allow everyone the freedom to think and talk.  Everything someone says or does has nothing t do with US.

As we allow others the freedom to be without needing anything from what they say. Many free thinkers say many things that have nothing to do with anyone.  To watch every word or thought that one says has no freedom. This does not mean the freedom t harm others, but many people jump into the middle of your thoughts thinking they are somewhat involved. 

The path has no idle thought.  Much of what is said has meaning or purpose only for the thinker.  **Always look at everything without mixing yourself into it.**

The things that have become very clear is that  most people are so self obsessed they have no room for new ideas.  It is like saying hello.  They think what does he/she mean by that?  People who cannot weave their own dreams hook into the dreamer making it part of the expression they themselves would like to be able to do. 

Most that I meet will spend so much time on trying to fix, make something out of anything. They grab onto others words, mostly because they think they can't dream.

Without the dreams of what you wish to do or become you will never grow to the fullest.  You will listen to someone and weave that person's thoughts or off-handed remark into something you wish it to be. 

For example:

• You must be willing to give everything away to arrive at this new way of life.  The very first thing people will say, "no problem"  The next breath it begins to be modified so that soon we turn our will back over to our thoughts.  Unless we have some thought of the outcome we don't give anything for something new until the new has been captured or we have a 99% chance of getting it.

A New Way Introduced

This is a series I will be posting titled, A New Way, written by Douglas Ray.  It chronicles the spiritual journey of a soul seeking its fulfillment through honesty, awareness and ultimately realizing the five gifts of living.  Mr. Ray's writings will be featured in addition to the various social issues discussed in this blog.

A New Way

by Douglas Ray

Now to begin to understand the truth which I thought was so far away I could never find it. So many words of so called truth.

Everyone has a thought what they think truth is or is not. Without the direct knowledge from the soul truth will always be just a thought. We dress it up with words.Sometimes action, but we never get to the core of truth. We hear "to think own self be true" . What does that really mean? We read books and stories of men and women who have lived in a way that the books call "the golden rule", the guide to God. Many different ways of saying what? That they found truth.

Truth can not and has never been explained due to it being a total spiritual experience only shared between your two selves. I have heard many people express what they feel is truth, yet as time moves along and I listen to the words people say it has very little to do with truth. It has much to do with how one sees the word. Most of the time truth, as people express it, is covered with ego, self grandeur and "better than" image of one's self.




***More of Mr. Ray's writings to follow.***