How it all began

~This is how it all began~

After leaving the father of my child, my abuser, I still hurt and yearned for something better in my life.  I was already in school full-time for my bachelor's degree.   Prior to going to school full-time, I had lost everything...my career of 20+ years, my retirement and any sense of who I was.  I had nothing!  I lost it ALL.  I was living at home with my parents.  "What a LOSER!" is what my abuser told me.  I certainly felt like one living at home at 40 years old with our child. 

You see, I didn't really lose EVERYTHING.  I had my son, MY FAMILY, the family I was born into who loved me unconditionally and friends who supported me throughout the ensuring craziness during my life with him .  My dear friend directed me to a domestic violence website, http://www.drirene.com/ so I could reach out for help during my time with my abuser. 

More to follow...

Recovery
These steps are detailed from my own experience and healing process.  I offer them only as suggestions.

Step 1:  Talk and I mean TALK, ALOT.  Talk over and over and over until you are tired of talking about it.  Redundancy..talk over and over to a TRUSTED someone who has the capacity to listen and who cares. 

• This person should be a counselor, clergy or whomever is in a position to really want to help you and only LISTEN. They should not criticize you or your decision to stay or how you chose to lead your life. 
• No judgements WHATSOEVER.  This person should not judge you; they are there for you.  This is your THERAPY. 

A word of caution:  I would not recommend friends because they have a tendency to judge and they may harbor some anger toward the abuser and your circumstances; because they are YOUR FRIENDS. At least this is my experience.

**Questions and comments are welcome**