Recovering

Recovery

Step 1 (cont'd) - During this phase, comes a time when you just need to STOP talking about the hurt, anger, pain, etc and TAKE ACTION, take action to remove the pain, hurt, anger, etc. from your being or yes, I'm going to say it, your SOUL.  Because that is where everything is stored and where it affects who we are, alters who we are and where it hurts!


Tools - There are several tools I use to help me through the process and I still continue to use as my way of life. 

• Crystals - An amethyst is recommended for the initial healing process.  I carried mine around for a very long time.  It lessened my anxiety and literally helped alleviate the hurt I felt deep within me in conjunction with the other tool, writing and burning, which I mention below.  The following link provides more information on amethysts and its healing properties at http://tinyurl.com/ls4zfb7. 

         **Special note:  Clean the crystal in a small bowl filled with water and salt.  Let it sit for 5 minutes.   Once a month place the crystal in your window under the full moon for cleansing and energy. 

You should carry it with you all the time and hold onto it in your hand whenever possible to alleviate stress, anxiety and to help bring calm during the healing phase for at least one month.

How it all began

~This is how it all began~

After leaving the father of my child, my abuser, I still hurt and yearned for something better in my life.  I was already in school full-time for my bachelor's degree.   Prior to going to school full-time, I had lost everything...my career of 20+ years, my retirement and any sense of who I was.  I had nothing!  I lost it ALL.  I was living at home with my parents.  "What a LOSER!" is what my abuser told me.  I certainly felt like one living at home at 40 years old with our child. 

You see, I didn't really lose EVERYTHING.  I had my son, MY FAMILY, the family I was born into who loved me unconditionally and friends who supported me throughout the ensuring craziness during my life with him .  My dear friend directed me to a domestic violence website, http://www.drirene.com/ so I could reach out for help during my time with my abuser. 

More to follow...

Recovery
These steps are detailed from my own experience and healing process.  I offer them only as suggestions.

Step 1:  Talk and I mean TALK, ALOT.  Talk over and over and over until you are tired of talking about it.  Redundancy..talk over and over to a TRUSTED someone who has the capacity to listen and who cares. 

• This person should be a counselor, clergy or whomever is in a position to really want to help you and only LISTEN. They should not criticize you or your decision to stay or how you chose to lead your life. 
• No judgements WHATSOEVER.  This person should not judge you; they are there for you.  This is your THERAPY. 

A word of caution:  I would not recommend friends because they have a tendency to judge and they may harbor some anger toward the abuser and your circumstances; because they are YOUR FRIENDS. At least this is my experience.

**Questions and comments are welcome**